We could have been forever
by Gabrielle Henson
Summary: A year after Chosen, Willow experiments a blue day... The following day, she awakes in a world that is no longer the one she remembers... Could she have a second chance?
1. Prologue

_The story you're about to read was intended to be part of a larger series. Inspiration being inspiration, I wrote it one day, long before the parts that should have been written before._

_At first, I decided to keep that story somewhere, waiting for the beginning to be written._

_ But finally, this part being quite independent from the rest, it can be read alone._

_ So some background for you to understand :_

_the story takes place nearly one year after 'Chosen'. Giles rebuilds the council, helped by Willow and Xander, Kennedy, Wood and Faith. Buffy for her part, decided to live a normal life in Rome with Dawn._

_After some months in Cleveland where the new Council is, Willow, Kennedy and some other Slayers and Watchers (including Rona and Vi) have been sent to Brazil by Giles. _

_There, the demonic community intends to make them regret to come and is hard on them._

_So the atmosphere is : work and work and work again when this story happens..._

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _

The silence had established its reign on the council's HQ. Slayers who had patrols duty on that evening were out and the other Slayers had withdrawn in their districts. The hall and the big lounge, usually place of passage and life where Slayers and and Watchers were meeting all day long, were henceforth deserted and plunged into darkness. In the long corridors of the building, only the security lights enlightened the blank walls and the impeccable stone floor. At a random crossraod of a corridor, one could perceive here and there a light under the door of a room: probably a Watcher reading again some notes before going to bed. Or still some Slayers having decided to occupy their free evening by a henceforth rare "girlie night".

But it was necessary to climb up to the summit of the building, in the last floor to find another room largely lit in spite of the late hour. It was the library. The unlimitedness of the room and its strict and clear organization imposed at once the respect to every guest and the deathly silence which reigned there, still strengthened this impression of crowned which anyone got from the impressive council's library. Giles had particularly followed the implementation of this room and Willow could only notice the great work he had managed to make this room the sanctuary of the knowledge it was and never stop amazing the witch.

Except tonight. Half collapsed on the table, pressed on her left hand, eyes lost in the vagueness, Willow seemed far from being in her now famous « research mode ». She seemed even rather ready to fall asleep from one minute to the other. What eventually happened.

Her face slid slightly along her arm and her forehead struck the corner of one of the numerous books which were covering her table. At the rough contact of the book against her skin, the witch jumped. She shook herself little and turned around to see the clock hung on on the wall behind her. It was henceforth 11:45 pm. Willow sighed. She was there for several hours now and she began to feel really tired. She tried to dive back into the reading but she felt again very quickly her eyelids fight against sleep. She proably should stop there for this evening and to go down to go to bed. But for some reasons, she didn't succeed in deciding to join her bed. She wondered if Kennedy had come back yet. She wasn't on patrol duty tonight and hadn't shown any enthusiasm for an evening of research, contrary to Willow who was in a very bookish mood. Both young ladies had thus decided to part after dinner, Willow spending her evening in the library and Kennedy … Well, she didn't know exactly what her partner was doing. She had doubtless gone out in city with Rona and Vi. Or, the three Slayers had met in Vi or Rona's room to share a pizza-TV evening and evoke memories of the time when they were still only potentials, or to remember their last exploits of demons Slayers.

Willow sighed again. If such was the case, Kennedy could indeed spend half the night out: nothing seemed to be able to stop Vi when the three girls shared that kind of evening. Willow didn't really bother about it: spending an evening from time to time only alone with books wasn't to displease her and even turned out to have become a necessity. But this evening, she felt too much tired to be able to take advantage completely of this moment of peace of mind.

Willow again felt sliding from fatigue towards the table and shook herself again. She stood up, took back her book, opened wide eyes and resumed her reading. Long minutes passed which seemed to her to last long eternities. The words danced in front of her eyes, forming sentences which resounded in her head but whose meaning didn't reach up to her brain lost in the mists of the sleep any more. Willow didn't realize this time she was falling asleep. Her left hand curled up and covered the book still put in front of her. Her body fell over slowly forward and her head came to rest in the hollow of her arm, her long red hair covering the pale skin of her arm and the pages of an old book whom pages had turned yellow by time. The witch sank into a dreamless slumber.

Which didn't last. Or lasted hours. She couldn't have known. What she knew, was that she abruptly had just been awaken by a gong. Willow jumped slightly before realizing that it was the gong of the clock that had just woken her. Without standing up totally, Willow turned her sleepy eyes to the clock behind her. It was a big round clock, encircled with a matt metal which seemed to her to be some bronze. It was placarded on the wall behind Willow, enough high to be visible from all spots in the library and seemed to dominate it down from its overhang. Big black digits were pointed by silvery needles which shone in the light of the neons. They were now indicating midnight. The clock sounded slowly its twelve knocks. The famous twelve knocks of midnight thought Willow. Why famous? She was too much tired to remember. But while the knocks shelled one by one to indicate the passage towards a new day, behind her half-closed eyes, Willow looked at the bowes located under the centre of needles and indicating the date, turning on themselves to move from one day to the next. This slow movement had to rock her because the witch fell asleep again before having seen figures indicating that we were henceforth May 7th.


	2. Act 1

Kennedy winked, once at first, then a second time and finally a third before her eyes remained opened. A sweet light was leaking in by the half-opened shutters but Kennedy put herself deeper in the blankets to find some darkness. A really pleasant warmth was reigning there and the young Slayer stretched all her body in the bed, grumbling with pleasure. Kennedy spread her arm on the side of the bed, in search of the body of her girl. But she met only void. The English young women removed her head from the blankets, winked again in the light of the sun and looked around the room. She was alone. The dark-haired Slayer pricked up her ear and thanks to her Slayer senses, she identified Willow's presence, probably in the kitchen. She settled herself again comfortably under the blankets, dreaming a moment that the witch would appear in the doorstep, breakfast in hands and a roguish smile on her lips. But Kennedy was quickly pulled out from her fantasy by her stomach which twisted painfully, reminding he that as Slayer, she couldn't doubtless wait for a very long time to see if her girlfriend would made her dream come true. The young lady still tried to ignore these calls by plunging even deeper into the bed but realized one instant later that she couldn't escape herself. Knowing that she would have no more rest as long as she wouldn't have swallowed anything substantial, Kennedy grasped the blankets with conviction and threw them back on the side. Then, she sat down on the edge of the bed, sighed before finally getting up and going to the door after having slipped on a tracksuit, which was lying on a chair.

A good smell of coffee, toast and scrambled eggs greeted her when she entered the corridor, which led to the foyer and to the kitchen. The Slayer crossed the last meters at a run and appeared in the kitchen, which was bathed, in a pleasant light. Willow was there, fussing near the counter. She was already dressed and apparently ready to begin her workday. Kennedy joined her in an instant, took place behind her and put her hands around her girlfriend's waistband while kissing her neck tenderly.

Willow turned around and Kennedy immediately frowned when se noticed the dimness and the tired featured of the witch.

« You came back late yesterday evening » she said, in a worried reproachless tone.

Willow sketched a smile, slammed a kiss on the Slayer's cheek and returned again to the task she was busy with before her girlfriend's arrival: cooking scrambled eggs.

« Yes, I was late at the library » answered the witch to the last assertion of her girlfriend. « I cooked the breakfast for you » she went on the same tone, as if both sentences had a logical chain.

Saying this, she gestured vaguely towards the table. Kennedy saw what Willow was talking about : her plate was put on the table and filled with sandwiches, toasts and pancakes. Close to all this, a bowl of smoking coffee waited for her as well as several jars of jam and a tablet of butter. The sight combined to the smell of this breakfast stressed the gurgling of her stomach and Kennedy released Willow, not without kissing her neck again; she went to sit down at the table and begin to taste all the good things that Willow had prepared for her. She began to butter some bread, to cover her pancakes with jam put the whole thing quickly in her eager mouth. Soon, Willow came next to her, a frying pan in her hand and began to put down scrambled eggs in the Slayer's plate. Kennedy didn't waste any time to start them. Then, Willow went to the kitchen sink and began doing the dishes. Kennedy curved a questioning and surprised eyebrow.

« You already eat? » She asked.

Willow shrugged vaguely without turning around and without turning away from her activity.

« I'm not really hungry »

Kennedy swallowed a new short piece of bread then a mouthful of coffee before resuming:

« You look tired »

Willow had a new shrug of shoulder.

« I researched quite late last night »

« Research on what? » The Slayer interrogated again.

« Current demons » answered untidily Willow. And at the evasive tone she answered on, it was evident that her brain was somewhere else.

« Is everything ok ? » Insisted Kennedy.

At this moment, Willow stopped the faucet and put delicately the frying pan she had just washed in the dish drainer.

« Yes, yes » she said on a tone she wanted reassuring but which Kennedy interpreted more as annoyed.

Willow dried her hands with a cloth, which was put on the counter before resting it again then went to Kennedy who was chewing a new sandwich with force. The witch put a new kiss on her girlfriend's cheek, offered her a pale smile and went to the exit.

« I take off, Kenn, I have some work. We meet this evening? »

« At noon? » Asked Kennedy in an hopeful tone.

Hope Willow crushed in an instant while shaking her head.

« I don't think I'll have enough time to come back and have lunch with you. I have a lot of things to do today. »

Kennedy tried so-so to hide her disappointment and shook pathetically her head.

« Ok. Tonight then »

She wanted to get up to kiss the witch but this one had already disappeared and Kennedy heard the front door click while she wasn't still completely standing. She fell again on her chair, a surly look on her face and obviously upset. Her glance remained a moment on the door Willow had before just disappeared through, before moving finally to the jars of jam which throned in front of her in the middle of the dishes of pancakes and toast. Finally, she attacked strongly her breakfast again and decided to release her frustration by swallowing all that her girl had so delicately cooked for her.

-----------------------------------------------------

Kennedy was pacing the room nervously. Her eyebrows were frowned, her eyes darker than ever, the look on her face thoughtful.

Everything was pointing the fact that the dark-haired Slayer was in full "thoughtful" mode. In front of her, Rona and Vi were sat on the single room of the room with their legs crossed and were looking at her with an obviously amused look on their faces.

The three Slayers were used to meet like this, in Vi's or Rona's room, each of them having been lucky enough to get a room of their own.

The two friends were still in nightly underwear. Vi was wearing a basic yellow pajama, which made her look even more childish than usual, while Rona had crossed the corridor to Vi's call in boxer and tee shirt. Both of them had been awaked late the night before, spending the beginning of the evening with Kennedy.

Then, this one had found them both still asleep when she had stormed without warning in Vi's room after swallowing the whole breakfast cooked by Willow. Always easy going, Vi had immediately thought that something important might have happened for Kennedy to wake her up like this. Rona – known to be an awful waker – had been harder to pull out of bed. Fortunately, Kennedy had cared to take down with her, some pancakes in order to be forgiven for that early awakening. And finally, Rona had given in and joined her friends.

"Are you sure that's so serious Kenn?" Vi asked shyly. "Willow's working a lot lately, she's probably really tired…"

"I think too that you're worrying for nothing Kenn" managed Rona, between two mouthful of pancakes. "She came back late after hours of research at the library, it's not the first time I think…"

Kennedy stopped pacing and stood still in front of Vi and Rona.

« She came back REALLY LATE » she said, stressing strongly on the word really. « She never came back home that late, never after me, never after I fall asleep ! » She finally exclaimed.

« Eh, here we are ! » Rona shouted, an exasperated and triumphant look on her face . « You fell asleep before she came back, THAT is your problem. But you know, Kenn, it probably means nothing more than you need sleep. We're patrolling all the time lately, you're tired, that's all »

Kennedy threw her arms to the sky.

« There's something more. It wasn't just yesterday evening. I know she works often late in the library but this morning, she was… weird. »

« Weird ? » Rona repeated, incredulous.

« Weird how ? » asked Vi in a sweet and concerned tone.

« Weird like 'I'm under a spell and I will transform in an ugly-beast' or weird like 'I didn't give Kennedy her normal dose of smoochies for the day' ? »

Kennedy cast a dark glance to Rona but answered nevertheless:

« She nearly didn't say a word this morning, she didn't even talk to me »

« Which fall under which of those two previously aforementioned categories ? » asked Rona in a very serious tone.

Which earn her a new dark look from Kennedy and made Vi severely furrow her brows. Rona gauged her two friends' reaction, then put a very serious look on her face before clearing her throat and turning to Kennedy :

« Listen Kenn, we're asking nothing more than being able to help you. But try to be clear with us…»

She hesitated a second then asked :

« Do you think she's seeing someone else ? »

Kennedy's jaw opened wide in surprise, pointing out clearly to both Slayers that this idea had never crossed her mind even for a second.

« Of course not » she shouted, horrified. « How can you even think such a thing Rona ! Willow is not like this and… How… »

Rona waved her arms to make sign to her to calm down and let her talk.

« Easy, Kenn, easy. But just try to understand, you storm here at the crack of dawn to… »

« It's more than nine o'clock Rona » Vi pointed out, calmly.

Rona shrugged.

« Anyway. it's early for us, it's what I meant. What I mean, Kenn, is that you storm here all panicked 'cause Willow came back late yesterday and wasn't all chit-chat this morning. To me, it seems to be a simple jealousy thing »

Kennedy kept looking at Rona as she had just suggested that Slayers should do Olympics Games. Rona's idea seemed so preposterous that the usually so talky dark-haired Slayer, remained speechless. It was Vi who came to her help.

« It's just really simple Ro » she said in a comprehensive tone. « It's like Willow is not at her best, which actually worries Kennedy who feels like talking about it. So she turns to her friends »

« Us » She add for Rona, as this one haven't follow her train of thoughts.

« There's not something dangerous or supernatural in this. Just a little concerned girlfriend talking about it with her friends. Something really naturally finally. »

Rona looked at her with incredulity and Kennedy flashed her a thankful smile. Rona looked at each of them one after the other and finally gave up and followed Vi's advice. She put herself against the wall behind her and took the most comprehensive tone she could to ask :

« So, tell us clearly what seems... weird?»

Kennedy took a chair, which was tidy near a little table present in the room - the only furniture wih the bed - sat face to face with her friends.

« It's the way she was not talking this morning. She got up without waking me up, cooked the breakfast and left for work just 5 minutes after I got up… »

« She cooked your breakfast, » noticed Rona.

« She ALWAYS cooked breakfast, » answered Kennedy, a flame of love in her eyes.

« And? » asked Rona, who still did not see anything special.

« And? She was nearly not answering when I was talking to her, she didn't wake me up. I'm pretty sure she would have left without even saying a word to me if I hadn't get up. and i would have not seen her before tonight ! It's not like her, that's all. Well, we're talking about Willow here ! Willow who can talk for hours about things you and I have not enough words to just evoke ! Talking Willow, babbling Willow...»

« Ok, Kenn. » interrupted Rona. « I'm with you »

« Maybe she's just concerned about demons, » said Vi. « W faced a lot of attacks lately. With the whole searching Slayers thing in the world, it's a lot to handle for her. She's got a lot of responsabilities. She must be concerned and tired and stressed. »

Rona nodded her head almost with enthusiasm.

« Vi's right ! I think Will just needs a break, Kenn. To get out from work and think about something else»

« Right » Vi added. « I think you should take her out tonight. Forget her job »

« Taking her out ? » asked Kennedy.

« Yeah, get out » resumed Vi. « you could take her to the cinema, or theatre or restaurant, anything ! Something nice and entertaining, just the two of you. »

« That's a great idea » Rona added. « And when you get back home, you can massage her bakc, her feet and… And you'll do whatever you want hey… »

Kennedy nodded slowly her head, letting her friends' idea get through her.

« Well, we did not have so much time for ourselves lately » she said slowly and thoughtfully. « With everything going on, we both had a lot of work. And after all, she's not as strong as us, Slayers. And she has so much more responsibilities. »

She felt silent, seemed to think about it all then her attention returned on Vi and Rona, who were simply looking at her, waiting for whatever she would say. Finally, Kennedy jumped up and put back her chair near the table, while saying to the other two Slayers :

« You're right, she needs some distraction. I'm gonna take her out tonight. I'm gonna see her and ask. Thanks for listening and thanks for the advice. »

Then she went to the door and get out quickly after adding :

« Et sorry for waking you up that soon »

And she was gone.

--------------------------------------------------------------

After thinking about it, Kennedy had finally decided to wait for Willow's lunch pause to execute the idea suggested by Vi and Rona. At noon sharp, she was waiting before the university room where Willow was giving her last lecture of the morning.

Her hands plunged into her black baggy's pockets, a creamy just well adjusted tee-shirt on her back, her brown hair put in a ponytail, the slayer was whistling happily, leant against the wall facing the door, happy with her surprise to the witch.

the lecture ended at noon like it had to, and Kennedy saw the crowd of students get out of the room one after the other. Ten minutes later, Willow exited in her turn, her arms full of books, talking with a student. Kennedy listened to him thank her for her help and looked at him getting away in the corridor while Willow was locking the door.

As soon as she was done, the Slayer crossed the hallway nimbly and took everything the witch was carrying.

« Hey ! You ! » said Willow who had not noticed her before.

« Yeah, me » answered Kennedy, smiling to her before leaning forward to kiss her girlfriend.

She answered the kiss almost mechanically to the great displeasure of the Slayer, before starting walking in the hallway, taking Kennedy with herby the arm.

« What are you doing here ? » Willow asked.

« I... » Kennedy began.

« i told you I won't probably have enough time to have lunch with you » interrupted the redhead.

Kennedy pouted and wearily swallowed, trying quickly to hide her disappointment to the tough behavior of the witch.

« I know, I know » she answered, smiling again. « But I couldn't do without you all day long, so I just came by for a surprise »

Saying this, Kennedy had stopped in front of Willow and kissed her again. For the first time since she had arrived, Willow smiled back. A weary and unsure smile but a smile nevertheless could not help but think the Slayer.

They resumed their walk in silence, Willow lost in her thoughts, Kennedy searching for her words to invite her girlfriend for an entertaining evening.

Willow stopped in front of a door and took back her books from Kennedy's arms.

« Wait here for a sec »

Kennedy did as she was asked and looked Willow entering the room, opening a locker, putting her books in there before coming to her side again.

Both young women resumed their walk in the hallway until they were outside.

« Well, I have a meeting with the Watchers now. Don't you train today? » asked Willow as they stopped on the university parking lot.

« Yeah, yea. » Kennedy answered quickly. « After lunch »

« Well, it's really nice of you to have come by » Willow said, while getting closer to kiss the Slayer « We meet tonight ? »

« Wait Will »

Kennedy held her by her arm as the witch was already turning on her heels. Kennedy carried on Willow interrogating glance and cleared her throat before beginning.

« Well, I know we have a lot of work lately but I think that you could use a little break. I'd like to take you out tonight. We could go the restaurant? just the two of us, could be nice, what do you say ? »

Kennedy looked at Willow, her eyes shining with hope, hoping her girl woud appreciate her idea as much as she was. At first, Willow answered nothing and looked at her in silence, a look slightly incredulous painted on her face. When she finally gave an answer to Kennedy, it was far to be the one the Slayer was waiting for :

« What ? » she said, in a tone where pierced neither happy surprise nor any kind of pleasure.

Kennedy's smile disappeared instantly when she saw the witch's expression but she refused to give up.

« I thought we could go out tonight… » She repeated in a firmer tone.

« I got that Kenn » Willow said. « But how can you suggest something like that? »

« Will… » Kennedy began.

"How can you suggest something like that NOW?" Willow exclaimed, her voice tired and filled with held back anger.

« Will… » repeated Kennedy, chagrined by the redhead's reaction.

« How can you suggest something like that NOW? » repeated Willow. « With everything happening? With everything I have to take care of ? »

« I know Will » answered Kennedy. « I just thought you could use a relaxing evening. You need a break and… »

« No » replied Willow with force.

« Will » insisted Kennedy again, her eyes almost begging, holding back by her wrist a Willow ready to take off.

But Willow did not seem to be ready to let her talk and interrupted her again.

« Listen » she said, trying to keep a casual tone. « I understand that you need to have some fun. You can go out tonight if you want. With Vi and Rona. Or whoever you want. No problem. I have a lot of work anyway. »

« Will, I want to go out with YOU… »

« No » Willow repeated again, shaking her head. « I can't. Don't insist »

Her voice betrayed the redhead's anger et a feeling of elusive illness took over the Slayer in front of these unusual outbursts. Willow got free from Kennedy's grip and took some steps back.

« I really can't. Please, don't insist… » she repeated so low, that Kennedy almost did not hear her.

Then she gave a weak apologizing smile and got away at a quick pace. Kennedy stayed a long moment still looking where the witch had disappeared, searching desperately where she had made a mistake, and a deep feeling of disappointment anchored in her.

« Good job Kenn, great idea… » she grumbled finally taking back shambling the way to the center.

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It was a rather fancy bar, whose atmosphere was comfortable and welcoming. The interior decoration was simple and good-tasting, and clientele discreet and with good manners. At the bar, one of the waitress, dark-skinned, with long, curled dark hair was fussing from a client to another, serving drinks, and giving here and there, winks, jokes or comforting words.

At one edge of the bar, a rather young man was obviously trying to get her attention and was laughing with her as soon as he could. A swinging latino music was playing, warming even more the comfortable ambience of the bar.

A cheerful music far far away from Willow's dark mood.

The witch too was at the sat, away from others patrons, a glass full with a dark liquid in front of her. Willow was staring at it absent-mindly and she was so focused on it that any watcher could have imagined she was looking for answers to some mysteries in the bottom of her glass.

Obviously, Willow hadn't drink a lot, if the high level of liquid in her glass was of any indication.

"Don't seem to be really happy"

Willow jumped slightly and put up her head deeply. The waitress was standing in front of her, a sympathic smile on her face.

« Sorry? » asked Willow, who hadn't noticed her getting close, nor hadn't heard her question.

The young woman shook her dark locks and leant on the bar in front of Willow.

« Rough day ? » she asked.

Willow winced slightly.

« No » she said at first. « Not really » she corrected.

Seeing the doubtful look on the face of the waitress, she resumed :

« Well, maybe a little… » She seemed to think about it. « Do i look like to have a rough day ? »

Willow tried to offer a poor smile to the waitress but her lips wouldn't move and the necessary effort to force them to do what she wanted to, felt insurmountable.

« Actually, yes » answered the waitress. « A really rough day »

Willow shrugged.

« I may have a rough day then » she whispered. « Well, I probably had better days »

The waitress looked like she was waiting for her to add something. But nothing came. Then, she lowered her eyes onto the nearly full glass of the redhead.

« I'd buy you a drink » she said, showing the one in front of Willow « But you hardly drink yours »

The sound of a glass hitting the counter made her turn around. she saw the young man from the other side of the bar raising his empty glass to her with a big smile. The waitress turned again to Willow and had a lightly bored sigh.

« Give me a sign when you're done »

Then, she came back to her duty, leaving Willow alone in her own world. A world in which she was so enclosed that she did not notice a fifty-year old man sitting near her and staring at her a few seconds with interest and curiosity.

« Hi » He said finally.

Willow jumped slightly again and turned around to the newcomer. He was rather good-looking, with his graying hair, his pale skin and his clear eyes, hovering between blue and green.

« Hi » answered Willow politely.

« What are you drinking? » asked the man. « Just to help me to choose. Well, although it doesn't seem to be that good, considering the fact you hardly drank »

Willow considered her drink then the stranger again.

« it is, it is, it's good » she said, nodding her head with energy. « It's just rhum-coke » she added to answer the original question.

The man nodded simply.

« So, I'll do like you. I'm going to order a rhum-coke »

Saying this, he gestured to the waitress who came to take his order. When the drink was put in front of him, the man drank two little mouthfuls before his focus returned to Willow.

« My name is John Brice » He said. « I'm here for a business trip. I'm not from here. just like you I would say »

« I'm Willow Rosenberg » answered the redhead.

John smiled warmly, obviously happy to have learned her name.

« You will probably find me really curious but I do have a question to ask if you let me. »

Willow nodded, intrigued by the man's manners.

« i can't help but wonder what a woman like you is doing here. You don't seem to be the type to hang in bars at night. »

« Is there a type to hang in bars at night ? » asked Willow.

The man smiled again.

« You have a point. » he said cheerfully. « But I think if there was a type, it wouldn't be yours. »

Willow stared at him in her turn with curiosity.

« And why this ? » she asked.

« I guess a young woman like you must have a husband or a boyfriend waiting at home." he answered warmly.

Willow hesitated on what to say. The man was right: it was not her type to talk about her life with some stranger met in a bar after some drinks. On the other hand, she had just drunk some mouthfuls and sharing some words with a stranger couldn't harm her.

« A girlfriend actually » she corrected after a few seconds of silence.

John did not look shocked to that revelation. He did not wince or show any sign that he wanted to leave because she was gay.

« A girlfriend then. » he repeated.

He drank a little and Willow did like him.

« Is that because of her that you are here alone? »

Willow hesitated again. She felt strangely secure and nevertheless, her rational side was telling her to keep her feelings and thoughts to herself. Her heart and her desire to confide in someone finally won over her reason.

« No. Well, not really. Actually, she wanted to invite to me to go out tonight »

John Brice looked at her in surprise and egged her on to go on.

« And what's the matter with that ? »

« It's just that... Tonight, I did not feel like having any kind of romantic evening. »

Elle kept quiet and John said nothing, waiting for her to go on herself, which she did almost immediately.

« I didn't want to come home. Didn't want to face her.»

Willow's face had become even gloomier than before and her voice was a breath barely audible.

« And it's not her fault. She has nothing to do with that and she doesn't deserve this. »

Willow turned to the man to see if he understood. he was looking at her straight in the eye, a sympathic and knowing light in his eyes. he did not have time to ask Willow to explain what she meant.

« There're moments… days… I can't stand to be with her. It's stronger than me… »

« And today is one of those days? » asked the man, his voice full of compassion.

Willow nodded. Her hand was strongly holding her now half-empty glass and she was fighting with difficulty the tears she had felt threatening to pour since the morning, or even since the day before or the day before the day before. She could not say. Time did not count yet when she was going through a period like this one.

« Before her… » Explained Willow gently, her eyes staring at her drink. « I was totally in love with another woman. A woman I should have been with forever. We were meant to be forever. I knew it. I believed it… »

Willow stopped, tried not be overwhelmed by the wave of emotions that were assaulting her. She swallowed with difficulty and cleared her throat before going on, even lower than before.

« Today, it's been exactly two years since she has been killed under my eyes. »

Willow did not raise her head and did not see the glistening look John was looking her with. Enclosed in her memories and her pain, all her strength was center on the simple fact to breathe. Breathe in. breathe out. She tried to relax her constricted throat, to chase away the tears that were burning her eyes.

« I understand » John said gently, in a tone he wanted soothing. « I got through this kind of thing myself. Days like this, I guess you blame yourself for having more or less replaced her ? And more than ever, you just wish any of this had never happened »

Willow just nodded.

« It's so unfair. » she whispered. « Sometimes, I just wish she's here with me, I wish she had never been killed. I wish I have another chance »

John put his glass to his lips and drank several mouthfuls. He let alcohol go down his entire throat long and warm up his veins, while looking thoughtfully to the redhead. She was still not moving, her eyes lost in her drink, probably in a world that was only hers. John looked like he was looking for comforting words but finding nothing good enough; he chose to just pat sympathically her shoulder and gave her a warm smile.


	3. Act 2

**Act 2**

Willow turned around in her bed, wrapping herself in the blankets to make as much advantage as she could of the warmth of the bed before sleep was definitively over. She found herself lying on her belly, her left arm folded under her stomach. She extended her legs and her right arm appeared to search blindly something beside her. Her hand tapped several times on the mattress without actually finding something.

When Willow realized she was alone, her eyes opened and she turned her face to the empty side of the bed. The witch winked and enrolled tightly the blankets around her, feeling herself really tired. She was lacking sleep for sure. Then she decided to gain some more minutes by throwing the blanket over her head.

But something prevented her to slide into sleep again. A strange feeling seized her and a familiar and unknown smell at the same time hit her nose.

Willow put herself up on her elbows and looked around her. Her eyes got wide with surprise and she deeply sat on the bed. She looked again all around the room, her eyes shining with some panic : She was not in her room.

The place she was in had nothing close to do with the comfortable and familiar ambience of the room she shared with Kennedy. The room was far smaller. Despite the bed she was in, the furniture was rather rare and scanty. Two teensy night tables flanked the bed. A little four-drawers dresser was sticked against the wall on her left. Two candles were put on it and were burning peacefully. In front of her, books and random objects covered a small wooden table. Under the table, a chair had been placed. Willow noticed two cheerful paintings on the walls. Despite the emptiness of the room, Willow found it welcoming.

But she had no idea where she was.

She tried to gather her thoughts and to remember. She remembered vaguely the day before. Kennedy inviting her to the restaurant. Her desire to come back home as late as possible to postpone the moment she would have to explain her behavior to her girlfriend. And then there has been a bar. Willow remembered the waitress who wanted to buy her a drink. Then she remembered the man who had sat beside her. He had ordered the same drink as her and they had talked for a while. And her memories stopped there. What have she done after the bar? She couldn't remember coming back home.

« Of course » she said to herself. « Obviously, you did NOT come back. »

Could she have been drunk? Willow swished with horror thinking she might have drink too much and agreed to follow the man to his place.

« No, no, no » she thought. « I couldn't do that. Think, Rosenberg, think hard. It must have a logical reason to this room. »

Willow took her head in her hands, rummaging her memory, searching desperately how she had ended there. Focused as she was, she did not hear the door opening and someone coming in.

« Hey, you awake »

Willow's blood froze in her veins. That voice…

That voice, Willow knew it well and she had the feeling that it had risen from grave.

She raised her head slowly, really slowly, as to delay the moment she would face what her instinct was telling her.

« Good night sweetie? »

Willow looked at her. And she knew the biggest surprise was paint on her face.

« That's it, » she whispered. « I'm dreaming »

In front of her, Tara was looking at her with a fond smile. Willow scrubbed her eyes as to test the reality of this apparition. But the blonde witch did not disappear. Willow stared at her with acuity. That was really Tara. All her senses were screaming it was her, like alarm signals that would have just became red at the same time. But as she was looking at her, Willow found her kinda different from the Tara she remembered. She squinted.

« You don't get up? » asked Tara while looking for something in the dresser.

« Uh? »

Tara turned to her and smiled again. She gathered some stuff from the dresser went closer to the bed. She sat down near Willow and leaned toward her. The redhead thought that Tara must probably hear her heart pounding in her chest, as it seemed to muffle her own senses.

« I must be dreaming, » she repeated.

Tara smiled again with fondness et this time, Willow thought her heart might jump out of her chest as the blonde witch's hand was coming to her face.

« I must be dreaming, » she said again.

And Tara's hand was on her cheek, caressing it tenderly. And Willow felt as if her face was burning at this all too real contact.

« What's happening sweetie? » Tara asked gently. « It's like you've seen a ghost. »

She was almost amused by Willow's surprise, and this one, lost in the scrutiny of the face in front of her, wasn't able to make a sound. Then, against any logic or reason, Willow stretched her arms forward and wrapped them around Tara to pull her to her body. Tara's smile got wider and the second after, the blonde's lips were on the redhead's ones. Willow kissed her shyly before, her mind telling her suddenly that Kennedy must be somewhere, waiting for her. That this young woman who was kissing her could not be Tara. But it was the blonde who broke the kiss.

« You should get yourself ready sweetie. We're going to be late. »

« Late? » asked Willow.

Tara looked at her watch.

« It's close to nine in the morning Will » she said almost severely. « We have to hurry »

« Ok » answered Willow with a distracted look on her face, while she was desperately trying to gather her thoughts. « And where are we going? »

Tara lifted a questioning eyebrow.

« The meeting of course! And I have to go to the sickbay. »

« Sickbay? » asked a suddenly worried Willow. « Are you sick? »

Tara looked at her, as she was crazy.

« Willow, are you ok? »

Willow bit her lips. She looked again around her, as all the answers to her questions might have suddenly popped up from the ground or been written on the walls.

« Where am I? » She asked finally.

The worry on Tara's face transformed into panic and the blonde witch put her hand on the redhead's shoulder.

« What's wrong? What did you do yesterday night sweetie? You don't look alright »

Tara caressed her cheek again while searching her gaze.

« It's Tara » Willow thought. « I can feel it, I KNOW it. It's her aura. »

But then, how? And where was she?

« I must be dreaming » Willow repeated for herself. « Someone did a spell on me and one of my dream came true. Or I've been sent to an alternative reality. Yeah, it must be something like that, an alternative dimension »

« Do you want to stay and take some rest this morning? » asked Tara, interrupting Willow's train of thoughts. « You don't look well. I'll explain to Buffy, don't worry. »

Buffy. Her best friend's name gave her some kind of relief. Buffy was there. Maybe Buffy would know what all this was about.

« No. I'm coming with, » she answered quickly.

« You sure? » asked Tara, still worried.

« Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. » Willow confirmed.

« So, you should hurry, » added Tara on the sweet tone Willow remembered. "I'd like to see Faith before meeting the others. »

« Faith? » asked Willow, totally stunned.

Tara looked at her in surprise again.

« As usual sweetie » she answered with some eagerness.

Willow decided to ask nothing more and to wait and see what would happen.

« Ok, I'm getting ready then. »

Worry disappeared from the blonde's face and she smiled again before leaning forward and putting a soft kiss on Willow's lips. The redhead trembled from head to toes and could not resist to the temptation to add a second.

« I put your stuff on the bed » said Tara, while pointing to the clothes she had taken from the dresser before. « I'm coming by the bathroom, I'm coming back. »

Then, she deposited a new kiss on the redhead's lips, got up and went out.

Willow let herself fall back on the bed.

« I never want to wake up » she whispered to the empty room.

---------------------------------------------

Willow had come by the bathroom quickly and slipped on some clothes she remembered vaguely having owned. Despite the blur she felt about this weird situation, she had decided to follow Tara without asking any more question to see where all this would lead her.

Willow was now following Tara in dark and woebegone corridors. The place was sinister and far from the welcoming ambience of the room they both had just left. A heavy layer of dirt was covering the ground and the grey and filthy walls. Somewhere, water outflows were running along the walls and a sickening smell of mold seized Willow. Tara made her go the second floor and they passed by a double open door behind which Willow caught sight of a big room and some agitation. But Tara did not slow down and hurried a little in the deserted corridors. They went up to a new floor and finally, Tara stopped in front of a closed door. Willow curiously looked her knocking shyly before opening gently the door without having heard any answer. The two witches came into a room half hidden in darkness. Willow guessed it to be smaller than the room they apparently shared. There were only a closet, a bed and a chair nearby in the room. Tara went to the window and began to open the blind a little more and Willow saw a figure lying in the bed.

Willow recognized it. It was Faith. But a Faith far from the one she remembered. She was as pale as death, her pallor only even more contrasted by the dark-haired curls that were framing her thin face. A wide scar tore her forehead in two and ran between her eyes, passing by really close to the left one before getting down along her nose and dying at the corner of her mouth. A dirty bandage surrounded her neck. Many scars decorated her left arm, lying still next to her. All the rest of her body was disappearing under the blankets.

Tara turned around and looked at Faith with a look Willow identified as tender and full of compassion.

« You don't have too much light? » she asked to the dark-haired Slayer, the blind control still in her hand.

Faith shook her head gently. Tara came to the bed and sat on the chair near her.

« How do you feel today? » Tara asked gently, while taking a closer look to the wound hidden by the bandage Faith was wearing around her neck.

« All kicking, Blondie » answered Faith with sarcasm. « I'm ready for some vampires ass-kicking »

Tara smiled to her with softness and got up to go to the closet.

« I'm going to change your bandage, » she said simply as she opened the closet's doors.

Willow saw her taking medical stuff from the closet, which appeared to only contain that kind of thing. Then the blonde witch came back to Faith and began to undo the dirty bandage. When it was totally removed, Willow could see the wound previously hidden and she felt her stomach turn. Faith's neck had obviously been deeply bitten in several spots and the wounds had become infected, leaving large brownish and puffy stains on the whole area.

Tara cleared the wounds gently. Willow saw one of them getting back to bleeding and Tara winced.

« What? » Asked Faith, while trying to turn her head to her.

Tara prevented her to do so with care.

« Don't move. You're bleeding again »

It was Faith's turn to wince.

« Damn vampires… » She grumbled.

Tara gave her a smile that Willow found full of sadness and melancholy. Then the witch made a new lighter wound dressing on the Slayer's wound before beginning to check others areas of her body.

From the door where she had stayed, Willow looked at the scene, totally stunned. Beyond the questions she was asking herself about what have been able to put the rogue slayer in such a state, seeing Tara taking so great care of Faith was somewhat unreal.

When Tara was done with checking others wounds, she got back to the closet and put back in everything she had taken before. Then she came back to sit on the chair and Willow nearly choked when she saw the blonde witch gently taking one of Faith's hands in one of hers and gently caressing her cheek with the other. Some seconds went by and Willow felt oddly out of place in front of such intimacy. And she was not the only one to think that way.

« Why does your girlfriend stay here staring at us? »

Faith's voice, a little louder than before, made the redhead jump slightly. Tara turned to her and sent her a scolding look. Willow remained stupid, not knowing what to do. Seeing she wasn't moving, Tara got up and came to her. She put her hand tenderly on her cheek, kissed her lightly on the lips and leant to her hear.

« Can you please wait for me outside sweetie? You know how's Faith… »

Willow frowned but decided to do as she was asked.

« Or you can go if you want? » Tara suggested.

Willow would have liked to go but she realized she had no idea where to go.

« I'll wait, » she said.

She was about to cross the doorstep when she turned again.

« Take care Faith » she said in an almost halting tone.

She got no answer from the Slayer and left. In the corridor, she leant against the wall and sighed deeply.

« Ok » she said for herself. « Think. Wherever you are, the place is not really nice »

She interrupted her train of thought when she thought about Tara kissing her.

« Actually it is. Wherever you are, it's super nice here. Ok, the interior sucks and Faith's not too well, but except that it's cooler than cool. »

She stopped again, playing in her head the scene she had just witnessed.

« Ok, Tara seems to be super-friend and maybe more with my worst enemy of all times, but except that, it's cooler than cool »

The door opened and Willow saw Tara backing from the room while gesturing to Faith. The door closed and Tara leant against it a second, her eyes closed. Willow forgot instantaneously her jealousy when she saw the stress displayed on the blonde's face.

«Not too good, uh? » she queried with sympathy.

Tara opened her eyes and saw Willow's ones staring at her with worry. She gave her a weak smile.

« No. It's not getting any better. » Tara answered simply.

She stood up and took the corridor in the inverse direction, which they had taken previously.

« I don't get it » Willow began carefully. « Why her Slayer's powers don't cure her? »

Tara shrugged and cast her an annoyed glance, meaning that matter had probably already been discussed.

« If she wasn't a slayer, she would be dead now. » She answered simply. « I guess the wounds are too bad to cure naturally. Slayers are human beings before everything »

Willow nodded thoughtfully. She wanted to ask how Faith had got hurt but she did not when she remembered that she probably should know that.

« And you two… » She said, thinking about the display of tenderness between Tara and the rogue slayer. « You seem to be pretty close... »

Tara rolled her eyes, clearly exasperate this time.

« Will, please, not this again. You have no reason to be jealous. »

Tara came to a stop and turned pleading eyes to the redhead.

« I love Faith a lot, that's true. But it's not the same thing as you. You know it, right? »

Willow stared to Tara's anguished face and admonished herself to be the cause of such stress.

« So, you and me, we're a couple? I mean, a working, lasting couple ? »

Tara looked at her with some surprise.

« Will, of course. I… I love you, you know that I will ever love only you? »

Willow's heart almost came to a stop at the admission before pounding wildly in her chest. The redhead closed the distance between Tara and herself, put her hand on the back of her head and brought the blonde to her for a heated kiss.

When they finally parted, Tara smiled brightly at her and let her head rest on Willow's shoulder for a second while Willow was playing tenderly with her blonde hair.

Suddenly, she realized what had changed in Tara.

« You cut her hair, didn't you? »

Tara stood up and looked at her with an enigmatic expression on her face.

« And you're acting weird again » she said, still smiling.

Then she took gently her hand and resumed walking.

« We gotta hurry to go to the sickbay »

Willow squeezed her hand in hers tenderly.

« It's been months, Will » added Tara, pointing to her hair.

------------------------------------------------

The sickbay was located on the previous floor, in the room they had passed by while going to see Faith. After crossing the double doors, there was a first room totally empty except another double doors, which lead to the sickbay itself.

As soon as she came in, a heavy smell took Willow. A death smell.

Willow followed Tara into the room, slaloming between mattresses on the ground, on which were laying many girls; some were young, some were really young, most of them were hurt more or less badly.

Willow tried to look at the faces but Tara was moving too fast for her to stop and stare. Some of them seemed to be familiar.

When they reached the back on the room, Willow saw several shelves lined against wall. Boxes containing only medical stuff were put on them. Near the shelves, a young girl was kneeling near a wounded and giving her an injection. Willow recognized this girl immediately.

« Dawn! » she said happily.

The teenager raised her head when she heard her name and smiled brightly to Willow. The witch found her changed. She looked exhausted and more mature than she was in her memories. She got up, came to them and took the two witches in her arms. Then Tara looked at her, wincing slightly.

« You look tired sweetie" she said. « You should sleep more »

Dawn winced.

« Like we had time for this, » she grumbled. « And you don't look better »

Then she turned to a closet and took a small bottle and several tablets boxes.

« How's Faith? » She asked to Tara who was taking medical stuff from the closet too.

The blonde witch winced again and shook her head.

« Not really better » she answered with a dark look on her face. « Her neck is not healing and she's till very weak. »

Dawn did not answer and gave her sympathic smile.

« So, what did we get tonight? » asked Tara after a moment of silence.

Dawn shook her head and lowered her eyes.

« No attack tonight and the ones who got out have not come back yet. No new wounded. »

Tara nodded seriously hearing this news.

« Good, good » she said simply. « It's really good »

Then, Tara opened a box put on a shelf and took a sheet she quickly cast a glance at.

« Our priorities then? » Dawn asked.

« Kirsty wasn't really well yesterday evening when I left. » Answered Tara. « Did she sleep well? »

Dawn gestured with her hand, indicating 'not really'.

« She slept »

« I'm going to see her first then ».

« Hey Tara »

This new voice made Willow - who had not move a muscle since her hug with Dawn - turn on her heels. The newcomer was a young dark-haired girl who was brightly smiling to them, and Willow's eyes widened when she recognized her.

« Chloe? »

The one who was formerly a potential in Willow's memories, turned to her, slightly surprised by the used tone then slammed a kiss on Dawn's cheek and one on Willow's before throwing herself to Tara's neck while the witch hugged her affectionately.

« What's wrong Will? » Asked Dawn, noticing Willow's stunned look at Chloe's arrival.

« Nothing, nothing » answered Willow, trying to look normal.

Nevertheless, she observed the newcomer with intensity, looking in astonishment at the display of affection from Tara with her.

« Looks like everybody loves Tara… »

« What? » Asked Dawn, who had not catch the sentence whispered too low.

« Nothing, nothing » answered Willow.

Dawn looked at her with a sceptical look on her face but Tara's intervention got her out of embarrassment.

« Dawn, I'm going to take care of Kirsty first. Chloe and you, you should do the light wounded. Then, we have to go to the meeting. Et after this, you're going to go to sleep? »

Dawn sighed.

« Tara, it's not… »

« Dawn » insisted Tara firmly. « You did the night, you have to rest »

Dawn sighed again but did not protest more.

« You see Kennedy after? » She asked instead.

At the mention of Kennedy's name, Willow felt like her heart had just looped the loop in her chest.

« What? » She couldn't prevent herself from saying. « Kennedy's here? »

Three pairs of eyes fixed her and stared at her like she was crazy. Willow regretted immediately her outburst.

« Of course she's here » Dawn replied, narrowing her eyes to her. « Where do you want her to be? »

« Drop it Dawn » said Tara with nonchalance. « She's weird this morning. I think she's really tired »

Willow did not answer, too impatient that this conversation got to an end and that Tara led her to Kennedy. This simple thought sounded strangely to her ears. Tara and Kennedy in the same world seemed to be nonsense.

« See you soon Dawn».

Tara put a kiss on both teenagers' cheek and went away from them, closely followed by Willow.

The girl called Kirsty - a fair-haired teenager with her face dotted with freckles - didn't take them a lot of time. Tara administered her several tablets intended to light her pain and which would allow her to sleep some hours.

When both young women approached the mattress on which Kennedy was supposed to lie, Willow felt her heart pounding with fear.

And it squeezed up violently in her chest when she finally perceived her. The girl had her eyes closed and seemed to sleep. All her body was covered with an old worn out blanket up to her chin. Her face, her neck and her arms wore all ugly scars. Her eyes opened at the approach of both witches and Willow was deeply moved when she saw the profound rings under the joyless eyes of the young British woman. She stood up on her elbows and sent a thin smile to Willow.

« Hey Will » she said on a tone Willow felt forced. « Happy to see you »

Willow stayed still, unable to make a sound or to move while Tara kneeled near her. She finally gestured vaguely to her, having no idea about how to behave with her in that crazy world.

« Hey » she finally said.

She was relieved when she saw that her reaction did not get her odd looks. She examined a few moments the interactions between the two women. They seemed perfectly friendly. Kennedy was trying to joke with Tara who was laughing heartily with her while looking closely to her wounds.

Willow noticed Kennedy's glance sliding from time to time to her and she could not refrain from smiling to her, then from coming to sit next to her, on the other side of the mattress.

The blonde witch lifted delicately the sheet, which recovered Kennedy so as to discover the arm, which was on her side.

« We'll begin with your arm, » she said gently, looking Kennedy straight in her eyes.

The young slayer nodded with a half grimace and Willow could see Kennedy's left hand emerging from underneath the sheet. The redhead had to glance away to prevent herself from vomiting when she saw the young British girl's mutilated hand. It had been horribly torn on both the back and the palm and a phalanx of the shortest finger was missing. Tara - who was obviously used to the sight - had no particular reaction and took the hand gently in her own to examine it.

Kennedy flinched in pain to Tara's handlings and the blonde witch stopped immediately. Willow, spontaneously wanted to soothe her girlfriend and took her free hand in hers. Kennedy turned sharply to her and addressed her a surprise. Willow understood immediately that the girl was not used to such sympathy from her part. Willow offered an apologic smile and was about to take her hand away but she felt Kennedy keeping it in. The redhead turned to Tara who was looking at her in surprise but gave her a smile nevertheless. Kennedy's glance travelled from Tara to Willow then to Tara again. The slayer could not help but give a big satisfied smile.

« I told you, Tara, that your girlfriend wouldn't resist my charm for ever !»

This put immediately Willow uneasy and she looked at Tara with some anxiety. But the blonde witch was smiling warmly to the Slayer.

« It didn't become infected » She said simply while put back gently Kennedy's hand.

She stopped for a second, took a breath before looking Kennedy straight in the eye again.

« We're looking at your leg? »

« Yeah, the leg… » Mumbled Kennedy with an immediate dark air on her face.

Tara gently lifted the sheet again, until revealing Kennedy's left leg. But as a leg, there was just a half one left. Willow immediately felt strongly sick and she got up abruptly when she saw the rough stump just under the Slayer's knee.

« Oh my God »

She put her hands in front of her mouth and felt tears coming to her eyes and slowly going down her cheeks. She did not notice Tara and Kennedy's concerned glance as she could not take her eyes off the horrible wound. Finally, Tara looked again at Kennedy's wound, and through her tears, Willow saw her wince.

« Not good. » She whispered without looking up to Kennedy who now was looking at Tara again.

« Do you think… do you think it'll have to be amputated higher? » Asked Kennedy in a low shaking voice.

Tara did not answer and went on examining the wound.

« I don't know, Kenn » she said after a moment of accepting silence. « We'll try to get back to the hospital to find adapted medicine before. »

« Tara… » Began Kennedy.

« We'll try » Tara interrupted firmly.

The women looked at each other a second in silence, then the blonde witch began to clean the wound that Willow was not even able to look at. When she was done, she put back the sheet up on Kennedy's left and helped her to lie down.

« You ok? »

Kennedy nodded bravely her head. Tara turned to Willow, whose face was now covered with tears more or less dried.

« Will, you could stay with her for a while, as long as I see my other wounded? »

Willow got out her torpor and nodded hesitantly. Tara got up and went away, leaving Willow alone with Kennedy. The redhead sat back next to the brunette who was intently looking at her. Willow wiped quickly her tears and searched desperately for something to say.

« Why are you crying? » Kennedy asked abruptly.

Willow did not know what to answer. She could have simply said she was deeply moved. But words just refused to get out while she imagined her 'girlfriend' 's half leg left under the sheet.

« It's weird » resumed Kennedy. « Usually, you hardly talk to me. And today you're crying about me as you'd care a little, finally. »

She shut up and looked at her again. Kennedy raised her hand toward the redhead and took her hand. Willow let her do so and simply smiled.

« It's nice you stayed, » added the brunette.

Willow nodded and both girls stayed simply like this in silence. Then Tara came back. She did not seem to notice the entwined hands or if she did, she did not show it. Willow got up quickly to follow her, hurried to get away from that woeful reality. She gestured to Kennedy and gave her a new shy smile before disappearing behind the blonde witch.

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_Thanks to everyone who leaves feedback._

_thanks to J for his/her comment on the word poison : I corrected it and hope it's good this time ! _


	4. Act 3

**Act 3**

Both witches got out the sickbay and followed new dirty corridors silently during some moments. Willow played and played again the events of the morning in her head with accuracy. First Faith, seriously wounded as she had understood. Then wounded. Wounded girls. Willow had recognized some of them she had known in Sunnydale during the battle against the First. And then Kennedy. Her proud Kennedy, her body mutilated. Kennedy with a missing leg. And finally Tara. Willow turned slightly her head to look at the blonde next to her. It was indeed her. Thinner, more tired than in her memories. But her. And Willow felt overflowing love for the blonde witch. If her mind hadn't been so clouded by Faith and Kennedy's wounds, the redhead would certainly have stopped Tara and would have pulled her in a deserted corner to recall all these sensations which they had shared and which her body was forgetting bit by bit, day after day, night after night.

But she felt that the atmosphere wasn't probably at a merry sexual escapade.

Who or what had thus been able to put Faith and Kennedy, two of the best Slayers of their generation, in such a state? Willow couldn't find the answer and as her steps moved closer to Buffy, she was more and more afraid of what she was going to discover.

Shouting made her jump. Voices she recognized immediately.

« It's insane Buffy! » Roared Xander. « We can't do that! »

« Do you think I propose that with a good heart? That it pleases me? » Answered Buffy on the same tone.

« We can't just do that »

« I'm trying to find a solution! »

« Don't you find that there were enough deaths like that? Did it have to have others? We all up to the last one. We're doing his game »

« I'm doing my best! » Screamed Buffy even louder than before.

Willow quivered hearing both such anger and despair in her best friend's voice. They still crossed some metres and they were in a new room where Willow recognized Giles, Spike, Dawn, Xander and Buffy. She recognized them and nevertheless another part of herself didn't recognize them. All were too long, too dirty hair. Giles and Xander raised both a beard of three days or more. Deep rings marked all their faces and even Spike the immortal seemed exhausted. But Buffy looked the most affected and all Willow's senses went on alert mode, seeing the Slayer's decomposed face, vague glance, arched shoulders. She seemed far older than 23. And was on the edge of getting hysterics.

« You should calm down a little Buffy » recommended Spike with a tired look he tried to make soothing.

But the effect of these words wasn't the one expected. Buffy jumped up literally on her feet and began waving in all directions still shouting louder than previously.

«Nothing's working. And Faith doesn't recover. It's been weeks now that we wait for a remission. »

« I'm not blaming you Buff » answered Xander, trying to contain his voice. « It's not that. But I think it's useless to go out tonight »

« Why are they so many? » Asked Dawn.

Buffy shrugged.

« No idea. But it is certainly no good sign »

Willow saw Giles nodding his head at this comment.

« Anyway, we can tempt nothing as long as Faith is not better » resumed Buffy. « I need her. Or another Slayer … »

« She's dying Buffy » interrupted Tara in a sweet voice.

Buffy turned to her and seemed just to notice her presence and Willow's.

« Hey Buffy » said Willow in an anguished tone.

But Buffy didn't answer her. All her attention was turned to Tara.

« You think she isn't going to pull through? » She asked.

Tara shrugged in sign of ignorance.

« She lost too much blood. Without transfusion, even with her Slayer's regeneration power, she's too weak. I'm not sure she will survive this attack. »

Tara had finished in a trembling voice. Buffy tightened her fists.

« If you think that she won't pull through » she said after a moment of silence.

« Of all the people here, I'm doubtless the one who wants the most that she makes it » said Tara in a firmer tone, supporting Buffy's severe glance.

« We all want her to make it » answered Buffy.

« But not for the same reasons » concluded Tara. « And it's not even a question to envisage a second what you're thinking about »

Tara punctuated her sentence with a firm and decided glance Willow had never seen her use towards Buffy.

« Tara, I know how much you love Faith, and believe me, I don't propose that cheerfully. But am I the only one to see that it's the only solution? »

« No, Buffy » declared Tara firmly and in a slightly trembling voice.

There was a silence Willow felt terribly heavy. She wasn't able to refrain from wanting to bring her help to relieve the atmosphere.

« Why counting only on Faith? » She asked finally in a hesitating voice, looking alternately at all the protagonists. « There are all the others. Ok, Kennedy's pretty bashed up too, but the others? »

Everybody was looking at her with a questioning look, not seeming to see where she wanted to go with that.

« Why not counting on Rona? Or Vi? »

Silence didn't stop. And no glance left her, looking at her with such an intensity that Willow wanted to disappear underground.

« It's not funny Will » said finally Buffy i a tone of steel. « I don't really want to laugh »

Willow twisted her hands I despair, wondering why this reaction. She preferred not to insist. And Tara came to her help.

« She didn't want to say that, Buffy. She's tired today »

Buffy shrugged and her attention turned away from Willow.

« What's the plan then? » She asked in an extreme tired voice turning to Giles and Spike.

Willow stared at the vampire and the watcher with more precision. They were both sat side by side, what Willow found already surprising and their faces reflected the same exhaustion and the same despair.

« I don't know Buffy » answered Giles. « As you saw, it seems very possible that the First collects its troops for a massive attack … »

« The First ! »

Willow had almost shouted the name in a slightly hysteric voice. Everybody turned again to her, and looked at her in the prospect of an explanation. The redhead swallowed with difficulty and eventually asked in a more quiet voice:

« The First returned? »

At first, nobody answered. Willow saw Giles' eyes wrinkle and stare at her intensely. But it was Buffy who answered in the same disenchanted and tired tone as previously:

« The First never left Will »

-------------------------------------------------

" The First never left Will "

Willow looked at Buffy, trying to integrate the words of her friend.

« What…what do you mean by 'never' left ? »

Buffy fixed austere eyes on Willow and her lips wrinkled in an impatient grin.

« Will, what with the questions! You know the First never left, don't you ? Unless you don't understand 'cause he sometimes left us some days of respite to attack again just after. »

« You mean we've never beat the First? »

Again, all glances converged on her and Willow was able to read some surprise and almost distrust on faces.

« But the Scythe » insisted Willow.

« What the Scythe ! » Screamed suddenly Buffy by getting closer to her, an expression mixed with fury and despair on her face. « What about the scythe? »

Willow didn't know what to answer, nor how to react to the explosion of the Slayer. Never, even in her worst moments, the witch had seen the Slayer acting that way and she remained stupid, looking at her without reaction.

"Love..." intervened Spike in a sweet voice. « I think you should … »

« Stop calling that! » Buffy exclaimed, turning around abruptly. « And what should I do according to you? »

« Take some rest ? » Offered Spike, ignoring the Slayer's aggressiveness, an exercise which he was apparently used to.

« Take some rest ? » Asked Buffy in a deep tone. « Take some rest ? Do I have time to rest? »

« You should take it. » Asserted Spike with force.

« I have no time to rest. » Asserted Buffy in the same tone.

"Buffy" intervened Giles with caution. « I do think that Spike is right. You didn't almost sleep for days and I think that we shall have to face an attack this evening. There is nothing that we could do for the moment. You should rest to be ready this evening. »

Buffy was again going to answer but Giles started again before her in a firmer tone.

« Buffy, go and take some rest. I'm going to review the potentials and our arsenal »

They looked at each other for a few seconds fixedly then Buffy turned to Spike who nodded his head in sign of encouragement.

« Very well. If you all agree, I suppose that some hours of sleep won't be too much. Wake me if anything happens »

Giles nodded and sent her a friendly smile.

« We'll do it »

Buffy waved her hand to the whole assembly and left the room under everybody's glance. When she had disappeared from sight, Spike turned to Giles and casually said to him :

« We agree on things. This war really has to stop »

--------------------------------------------------------------------

« Will ? »

Willow jumped when she heard Xander's voice so close to her. Concentrated to observe Tara, Spike and Giles talking about Faith, about potentials and imminent battle, trying to collect all the details, she hadn't heard her best friend's approach. She turned to him and detailed him closer in his turn. As everybody, he looked slimmer. As Giles, he wore a three days uneven beard. As in her memories, he wore a back eye patch on the eye. Apparently, there were some things left of her memories in this mad world. And not the good ones, of course.

« What's wrong Will? » Asked Xander while putting his hand on her shoulder.

Willow frowned and saw the anxiety on the face of the carpenter.

« Nothing particular » she murmured in a halting tone.

« Hey, Will, it's me » protested Xander in a captivating tone. « I know that there's something »

Willow raised her eyes towards him and planted her glance in his. He was smiling, encouraging her to confide in him, reminding her that with him, everything could be said, everything could be understood. This smile finished convincing Willow. She too much needed to talk, to explain, to know more about what surrounded her. And who else than Xander for this? he had always been the good choice.

"OK" she admitted finally. « There is something going on »

« I knew it! » Said Xander triumphantly, before starting again more seriously:

« So what is it Will? »

The redhead looked around them and Xander understood at once her concern.

« Let's go for a walk, » he proposed.

Willow nodded her head.

" Wait for a sec "

She crossed some metres, which separated her from Tara, Dawn, Giles and Spike and smiled tenderly, seeing her girlfriend turning around even before she has reached her.

« I am going for a walk with Xander » she announced.

Tara nodded smiling then moved to her and kissed her with tenderness.

« Ok. I'm going back to the sickbay and see Faith during this time. See you later »

She kissed her again and Willow hesitated, wishing suddenly nothing else than to stay with Tara and to snuggle up to her. But the blonde witch already turned around towards her interlocutors, ready to leave. Willow turned her head and saw Xander who was waiting for her. She took a profound inspiration, cast a last glance to Tara and joined the carpenter.

They went out of the room silently and walked some metres before Xander interrogated her again.

« So Will, what's wrong? »

Willow hesitated on the way of presenting things. She preferred not to attack the problem totally frontally.

« I think I lost some of my memories» she quickly broke out.

Xander stopped walking and looked at her, frowning.

« You lost your memory? » He asked in astonishment.

He seemed to think about it one second before asking again:

« Do you think it's a new trick from the First? We should talk about it to Giles and Buffy … »

« Xander, I would like you tell me what I forgot » the witch asked him without answering his own question. « Please. » She added with a pleading glance.

"OK" said simply Xander. « What do you remember? »

« Tell me everything » Willow insisted. « Since how long this war does last? Tell me everything since the beginning of the First. »

Xander sighed.

« As you want Will. Roughly, it has been one and a half year since the First threatens us and releases its monsters on us one after the other … »

« How come that Tara is there? » Cut suddenly Willow.

Xander sent her a strange glance.

« Why wouldn't she be there Will? »

« Ok. Let's go back farther then. » said the witch whose brain was working at full speed. « Since … Since Warren, what … »

« Warren? » Interrupted Xander, more and more bewildered. « Why are you talking about Warren? »

« What happened to him? » Willow insisted.

« You don't remember that? Warren is in jail Will. Well, maybe not anymore, with everything happening but … »

« Since how long? »

Xander stopped again and pulled Willow with him towards a ruined bench which was lying against a wall on which both sat down.

« Since how long? » Repeated Willow.

« I don't know exactly Will » answered Xander who decided to search his memory, when he saw the disturbed look on her best friend's face. If giving her the answer to this question could make her feel better, then he had to find it.

« Approximately two years » he said finally.

« How did it happen? »

« Buffy kicked his ass and handed him over to the police. It was at the beginning of May, two years ago. »

He kept silent a second, looked for Willow's eyes, which seemed lost in void and resumed:

« I remember that 'cause just after, we had a little good time and it was good after all these months… You and Tara together again, Buffy was better, Spike had left … »

« Xander, Warren never came in Buffy's garden with a gun? »

Xander's confusion became more marked with this question.

« No, Will, never. Why? »

« Nothing happens to Tara? » She asked again in a breath.

« No Will. » Confirmed Xander, more and more worried. « Will, what's going on? »

But Willow didn't seem inclined to answer his questions, drowning him with hers.

« And the year after, the First appeared? And potentials arrived? »

"Yes" confirmed Xander. « And everything began to start again. There were bringers' attacks, uber-vamps' attacks, all these potential to be protected … All these deaths » he finished in a breath, his glance suddenly distant.

« Everybody left » he went on. « Except us. We guard the hellmouth as long as we can. As long as the First didn't decide to crush all of us… »

" The girls " asked Willow. « You said the 'potentials', they are nothing more? »

Xander curved a questioning eyebrow.

« What do you want them to be ? »

« Slayers? » Offered Willow.

Xander didn't know at first what to answer and his mouth opened under surprise.

« Will, you're hiding something from me. What aren't you saying ? »

The witch hesitated a second.

« I'll say everything to you after Xander, but please, go on answering me. »

The young man resigned himself.

« Very well. What do you want to know ? »

« Anya? » Asked abruptly Willow.

Xander's face darkened immediately at the evocation of his ex-girlfriend.

« She's dead Will » he answered curtly. « Approximately one year ago. We tried an attack on the hellmouth. A true massacre. Dozens of potential died. Wood and Anya too. »

« I'm sorry, » said Willow gently, putting a hesitating hand on her friend's arm. He had no reaction.

« Your eye? » She asked then shyly.

"Caleb" He answered at once. « The vineyard. Our first big failure. »

Willow nodded her head.

" I remember that " she says quite low. « We all kicked Buffy out after that … »

Xander deeply raised his head and looked at Willow as if she was crazy.

« What? »

Willow saw incredulity pass in the unique eye of the carpenter and tried to move back.

« No ? »

« Will, of course not! How could we kick Buffy out from her home? We'd never do that »

' Except that I remember doing it' thought Willow while swallowing with difficulty.

« What happened then after that? There wasn't a fight, a revolt? »

« Yeah, yeah … The atmosphere was very tense that evening. And Buffy wanted to return to the vineyard, sure that Caleb was hiding something … »

« And? »

« And you and Tara convinced her to let the girls rest and digest the events while you put up a reckon to discover if there was something in the vineyard. Tara left over there with Faith and Buffy and did a spell to determine if something magic was hidden. It's that way we found the Scythe Buffy cut up Caleb with. »

Willow nodded.

« And after ? » She asked.

« Later, Angel came from LA to give Buffy a stone and we decided to launch this attack on the hellmouth. And that was horrible. The potentials were getting killed so fast that we had to retreat to avoid a general massacre. Since that, we hide in this abandoned building since Buffy's house had almost completely been destroyed by the successive attacks. From time to time, we go out in city to clean some demons and vampires, to prevent them from going out of Sunnydale. Other times, it's them who attack us. And we still found nothing to win. »

Xander wasn't looking at her any more, his eye was fixed to his shoes and Willow wasn't any more really sure than he addressed her when he started again quite low.

« We're waiting for our turn. That he decides to finish it and destroys us all up to the last one. »

« Why didn't he do it? »

« Giles thinks that he enjoys himself, that he wants to kill at first all the potentials. Then the friends. Then Faith. Then Buffy. It's certainly the only reason for which Faith wasn't put out of her misery … »

" What happened to her? » Asked Willow remembering the state in which she had perceived the dark-haired Slayer in the morning. « And to Kennedy? »

Willow saw the carpenter's glance go back up on her and hide be clouded even more at this question.

« Three weeks ago » he began to tell, fixing his shoes again. « We tried a new attack on the bringers, at the vineyard. We had separated in two groups: Buffy, Spike and I with a group of potentials and Faith with a group of more hardened potentials among whom Kennedy and Vi. The attack failed, we were taken away from each other much more than foreseen. There was a whole group of uber with the bringers. We had to retreat in panic. Faith and her group tried to run away using the sewers, through a passage which we had discovered and which led right there. They're the ones to be mainly chased. Some passages in the sewers were half collapsed because of previous traps of the bringers and of the seismic activity lately. While the girls were almost at the exit, uber engaged the fight. Two of the girls were killed without time for the others to do nothing. But they were within an ace to be free. To prevent them from escape, uber made fallen rocks collapse on their way. Kennedy met herself trapped a stuck leg below. Freeing her from there was impossible, especially with the uber attacking. But Faith wouldn't leave her behind. She'd rather die than leaving a survivor to the enemy. Then, she asked Do to… »

« Oh my God » murmured Willow who began to understand.

« Dominic cut Kennedy's leg just below her knee with her own axe while Faith, Vi and Chloe held the uber at some distance. Faith ordered to both girls to help Do to take Kennedy out from there while she fought the uber. They were five on her. The girls disobeyed at first then Faith insisted enough so that Chloe helps Do take Kennedy out . Vi was apparently killed at this moment. Chloe said that the last time she looked, Vi was already dead and Faith was about to disappear under five uber. We found them three almost one hour later, in a nasty state as you can imagine. Do didn't still recover from this. We may say to her that she saved Kennedy's life by doing so, she sees only the fact that she's the one who cut her leg and that she abandoned Faith … »

« And what about Faith? »

« When we got back into a state you can imagine, wounded and less than before, Tara asked where was Faith. At the beginning, we didn't really know and the priority was Kennedy who required immediate care. But later, Tara so insisted that we return that we finally did. Chloe guided us where they had left Faith. And she was still there. Why they didn't kill her, we don't really know. But she was there, in a nasty state really. It's more than a miracle that she survived such wounds. Since then, she lied in a room, a little aside. She hardly resumed some forces. Tara thinks that she won't make it without adapted care. And you know as it's impossible to get adapted care nowadays … »

No, Willow didn't really know. But she guessed.

« Faith and Tara? » Asked suddenly Willow.

« What Faith and Tara? »

« I didn't remember that they were so close » the witch grumbled.

The expression on the redhead's face pulled a smile from Xander.

« They're just friends Will » he said affectionately in an almost amused tone. « It's crazy that you're still jealous of Faith after all this time. You don't really have to. »

Willow shrugged.

« I'm not jealous » she protested. « It's just...surprising. Beside, how did it happen? »

« You know, when Faith returned, nobody was very happy to see her, the First or not. Tara was the only one to be really welcoming. They eventually got attached to one another… »

« Got attached! » Said Willow in a voice a little more high-pitched that she had intended.

Again, Xander had a brief smile and he put a comforting arm around Willow's shoulders.

« Will, Tara loves only you. It's just obvious. »

Willow considered Xander's words carefully and opened her mouth to speak but hesitated a second.

« She… She forgave me? » She finally asked quite low;

« I mean, for the spell, the Tabula Rasa and all … »

Xander stressed the pressure of his arm and smiled more frankly.

« Yes. She forgave everything. She loves only you Will. This Faith jealousy is really out of place … »

« You were fighting about her when we arrived? » asked Willow. « I mean, about Faith? »

Xander became dark again at once at this evocation and had a tired sigh.

« Buffy started again with»

« Started again with what ? »

« Tara and Giles think that if Slayers' powers had made nothing to improve Faith's state for three weeks, then she won't probably make it. You heard Tara like me ? She says that she is dying despite all she does about it »

« And? »

« Then Buffy had this idea that as Faith is going to die anyway and as all the surviving potentials are here, accelerate the process would shorten her sufferings and would give us a second Slayer … »

« Oh my God » murmured Willow opening wide eyes of horror. « Buffy wants to put Faith out of misery?»

«To make it short, that's it» Xander said bitterly.

« I can't believe it » blew Willow. « It's... it's so not her … »

« I 'm not sure there's a lot left of us here you know … »

Silence fell again between both friends. Willow closed her eyes, estimating the weight of what she had just heard, weighing her own resolution. Images and sensations danced in her spirit: Buffy's wild glance, Faith's prostrate shape, Kennedy's missing leg, her damaged hand, Giles' lost air and thinner face… But in the middle of this horrors picture, Tara's smile appeared to her, and this simple vision eases everything, seeming to make bearable death after death, wound after wound, fear after fear. And the following moment, everything was clear in Willow's mind.

« Xander, this world is not real. »

« What? What are you talking about? »

« In my memories » clarified Willow. « This world doesn't exist in my memories. I remember a world where we overcame the First one year ago when we came dow in the hellmouth. I remember a world where Chloe committed suicide a long time ago. I remember a world where Kennedy still has two legs and where Faith is standing up. I remember a world which has nothing to do with this one »

« Will, what are you talking about? »

« Xander, I think this world arises from a spell or a wish or something like that. It's not the world that would have to happen. »

Xander stared at her one moment, wondering if these words which seemed to have no sense at al, could in fact have one.

« Ok, Will » he said finally. « You seem pretty sure of what you say. We should talk about this to Giles »

Willow nodded seriously her head and both friends got up and left to where they had come from.

--------------------------------------------------

« This world could not be real? » Repeated Giles for what seemed to be the hundredth time to Willow.

« Well, it seems to be real » explained Willow. « But it shouldn't have been»

Giles, Xander, Spike and Buffy had listened with big attention to Willow's shortened tale and the witch had been able to see their interest increasing as she described them the world which she remembered.

« How is it possible? » Asked Buffy by turning to Giles.

« This world could have been created by a spell» answered Giles, as he began pacing the room, seeming deeply thinking about the question. « Or by a wish. »

« A wish? » Repeated Xander. « A wish as with a vengeance demon? Giles, Will knows the vengeance demons, she would never do … »

He stopped short and considered Willow.

« Will, did you make a wish? »

The witch shook her head.

« I don't think so » she said. « No vengeance demon appeared to me. »

Giles looked at her too with an inquisitive look on his face for some seconds.

« Did you talk to anybody unusual recently? Or did something unusual? »

Willow lowered her eyes, suddenly very embarrassed about her evening of the day before.

« Actually yes. » She eventually admitted. « I went to take a drink in a bar yesterday evening. »

« Will! » Buffy exclaimed in astonishment. « Alone? » She added unbelieving.

Willow nodded.

" Yeah, alone " she confirmed.

« Did you talk to anybody? » Asked Giles again.

« Of course ! » Willow exclaimed while searching desperately her memories. « I talked with the waitress and with another customer who was in the bar with me! »

« Willow! » They exclaimed all at the same time.

« Are you sure that a world where Willow is going to drink alone in a bar is better than this one? » Asked Spike in a sarcastic tone.

But nobody paid attention to him.

« Did you make a wish? » Insisted Giles.

« I don't know! » Willow shouted, feeling suddenly uneasy in front of the inquisitive looks of her friends.

Then her eyes became round while her conversation with John came back to her.

"Oops" she said simply, putting both hands in front of her mouth.

« Will, tell me you didn't wish we all have our asses kicked by the First? » Asked Xander, half joking, half serious.

« What did you wish? » Interrogated Giles very seriously.

Willow raised her eyes towards him and closed them half a second, becoming impregnated with Tara's presence she could feel somewhere in the building.

« I wished that Tara wasn't killed. »

A deathly silence punctuated this statement.

« What? » Said finally Buffy. « Tara isn't dead … »

Willow planted her green eyes in Buffy's.

« In the world I remember, she is. »

« What I don't understand » began Giles after a new silence while he had removed his glasses and began to clean them with an end of dirty tissue found in his pocket. « How Tara's death could have influenced events in that direction … »

Giles looked at Willow but this one answered nothing, replaying in her head this damned day, delaying the moment when she should tell it to these versions of her friends who hadn't lived it.

« What didn't you tell us Will? » Interrogated Buffy while putting an encouraging hand on her shoulder.

« She was killed by Warren. » Said abruptly the witch.

« Warren? But Buffy handed him over to the police.. » Xander intervened.

« Not in the reality. » Cut Willow whose glance dived towards her shoes. « In the reality, Warren escaped Buffy. Only Andrew and Jonathan were arrested. And the day after … »

Willow stopped a second, took a profound inspiration to give herself some courage.

« The day after, Warren came to Buffy's with a gun. Buffy and Xander were in the garden, behind. He fired at Buffy, then in the air to protect his flight. A bullet crossed the window of my room where I was with Tara and pierced her chest. She was killed outright, just in front of me … »

Willow finished her story in a rustle and had to fight against herself not to cry. If she had been able to raise her eyes, she would have seen that all the faces around her were struck with an expression of horror. But the only thing at which she could look was the end of her used shoes.

« My God, Tara » murmured Buffy.

« I … I don't still see how... » began Giles.

« After that » Willow interrupted him so low that everyone got closer to hear the end. « I … I got lost … I wanted revenge. I went to the magic box. I sucked up the power of all the dark magic books. I chased and personally killed Warren. »

« Oh my God » repeated Buffy.

« But it wasn't enough. I also wanted Jonathan and Andrew. You all wanted to prevent me from killing them. I faced you. I faced Giles to whom the Covens had confided their powers. I stole them to him. And I wanted to destroy the world … »

" Dear Lord " murmured Giles, more horrified with every word the redhead pronounced. « And Buffy prevented you from doing it? »

« No. Xander did »

Willow raised her head. On the shocked faces of her friends, she read no judgment. Just incredulity and evident shock.

« And thus.. » Continued Giles who tried desperately to collect the details of the puzzle. « This power which you acquired by doing do … »

« Apparently allowed us to make tilt the balance on our part. » Finished Willow.

« You destroyed the First? »

Willow shook her head.

" No. Just before the descent in the hellmouth, I used the Scythe to make all the potentials Slayers. All of them. And it allowed you to last enough time so that the stone that Angel gave to Buffy acts and closes definitively the hellmouth. »

« Definitively? »

Willow nodded.

" Yes. Sunnydale has been swallowed and we all left to live somewhere else. There are henceforth hundreds of Slayers in the world. You aren't the only one anymore Buffy. The weight of the world isn't on your shoulders any more … »

Willow fixed her glance in Buffy's in which the flame of hope danced henceforth again.

« So...so, it's possible » murmured the blonde Slayer. « To overcome the First, it's possible … »

Willow approved.

" You have to take back your wish, Willow. " Declared suddenly Giles.

All turned to him.

« You have to take back your wish » repeated Giles, looking at her fixedly.

« Giles if I do that, Tara … »

« If you don't, the First will eventually win. »

« I could make awake all the Slayers. With the scythe. And we shall come down again in the hellmouth. As we did in my memories. »

« Willow, you may not be able of this in this world. »

« Giles, we could try! » Protested Buffy.

« And even if it was the case » resumed Giles. « All these deaths for one year … All these people weren't intended to die … And does it remain enough potential to lead this attack? Faith is dying. It is very risky. And in case of failure … »

Nobody found anything to answer. Buffy looked for an objection but nothing convincing came to her and she remained silent too.

« Willow, you have to call D'Hoffryn and convince him to take back your wish. »

"Giles" murmured Willow who felt tears returning in her eyes. « I can't do that … I can't lose her again. I can't lose her a second time »

« Willow, you won't have any memory of this experience» murmured Giles in a sweet voice. « None of us is asking you to do that of cheerfully. Tara was so formidable during all these months… But the stake in all this exceeds our self-interests from a great distance. I know that you are aware of this … »

« Giles … » Begged Willow.

" You have to do it Will "

All jumped and turned around to see Tara, casually rested against the frame of the door.

« You have to do it, Will » she repeated, a sad smile on her face.

Tara moved in the room and a heavy silence greeted her entrance. Concentrated as they all were on Willow's story, no member of the group had noticed her arrival several minutes earlier. The blonde witch reached the group and offered a forced smile forced to all. None of them dared to face her, excepted Willow. Tara slid her hand in hers and attracted her against her.

"Tara" began Giles still without looking at her directly.

But the young woman didn't let him go on and she fixed her clear eyes on his elusive face.

« I know Giles. I know » she said simply.

Then she squeezed Willow's hand stronger and her eyes returned on her.

« We're going to take everything needed for the call spell? »

Willow answered nothing and looked at her without making a gesture, putting on her pleading eyes. Tara still strengthened the pressure.

« We're going sweetie? »

The redhead eventually nodded her head and Tara pulled her with her in the corridor after waving a vague « see you later » to the others.

Both young woman walked silently, Tara holding Willow by her waist and this one having her head rested on her girlfriend's shoulder. It was only once in their room, when Tara began searching in the dresser's drawers that Willow found her voice.

« I don't think I can do that Tara … »

Tara turned around and returned towards her, put her two hands on her shoulders and massaged them slowly.

« I know it's hard sweetie. And it's hard for me too you know … I don't wanna die … »

Willow raised her eyes and was able to see tears, which threatened to escape from the blonde witch's eyes.

"Not like that" continued Tara. « I would so much like to know this world you talked about. Everything seemed so perfect there … »

« A world without you can't be perfect » Willow cut her quite low but determinedly.

« Will, I couldn't live knowing my death could have avoided this slaughter. These kids die day after day under our eyes, one after the other. Faith is dying, Buffy more desperate than I have never seen her. We are all exhausted, frightened … And all this, by my fault? »

« No! No! » Protested Willow. « It isn't your fault baby, it's just a coincidence, it's me … »

The silence fell between them, only interrupted with sniffing each of them tried to master with more or less success.

« Tara, in the world I remember, I became all you would hate the most. I became a monster you'd hate… I don't want you to hate me … »

Tara hugged the redhead tenderly and put down a kiss on her forehead.

« Will, I can't hate you, whatever happens. Be always sure of that. Whatever happens, I know that a part of me will always love you »

Again, the silence. Willow wrapped her arms around Tara and let freely flow her tears henceforth into the hollow of the blonde witch's neck.

« Will … After … After my death … Did you meet someone else? »

Willow deeply raised her head and looked at her lover in astonishment and shame. She was going to open her mouth to babble an answer when Tara interrupted her before she had the time to dash.

« No, don't answer. I don't think that I wanna know finally »

Tara tightened Willow against her and the redhead inspired profoundly the flavor which got free of the sweet skin of the blonde as to become impregnated with it and never forget it.

« I hope so » added Tara in a slightly trembling voice. « I want you to be happy Will. With or without me, that's the only thing that matters. »

« I don't know if I could baby » blew Willow, squeezing Tara more and more against her. « As I know that we could have been together, that we could have worked … despite everything, despite all these horrors … That could work … »

« It works, Will … But it's not what was intended to happen » added slowly Tara, caressing the redhead's back with tenderness. « It wasn't intended to happen … »


	5. Act 4

**Act 4**

They had closed the main entrances of the room, which served as place of meeting. The men had loosened the center of the room where henceforth Giles and Dawn were arranging some of the ingredients brought by this witches with care.

Giles had insisted on hurrying to try to make Willow take back her wish because the night wasn't very far and he dreaded a massive attack from the First. Buffy had approved unwillingly the decision to precipitate their action and Tara had just nodded her head and asked for some more time with Faith. Willow who refused to leave her for a second, had suggested coming with her Tara had declined. Willow thus had to resolve to wait for the fateful hour, looking from a corner of the room, at Dawn and Giles preparing what she refused to do herself.

« Hey, you OK? »

Willow tore away from her reverie to turn to Buffy who had just put her hand on her shoulder. The Slayer's voice wanted to be sweet and she tried to show a friendly smile on her face. A smile of best friend, thought Willow.

"You OK?" Buffy repeated friendly, while Willow remained dumb.

The redhead fixed her glance to the face of her friend. The exhaustion she had seen there earlier was still there. The marks left by months of fights and pain too. But something had changed. In the back of the blonde Slayer's eyes, Willow now perceived hope. And even deeper, envy. Envy for this life Willow had described. A life without vampires, nor demons. Just she and Dawn in Rome.

And Willow felt her entrails twisting between the pleasure and the disgust this Buffy's revival inspired her. Pleasure to see her friend finding one ounce of hope. Disgust because Tara's life was the price to pay for it.

« No, you're not ok» answered finally Buffy for her. « It was a stupid question, wasn't it? »

Willow offered her a weak smile. A part of her wanted to scream how much the question she had just asked was stupid and how much the answer was evident. But this part kept silent and left the word to a more quiet Willow.

« We find rarely good things to say in this type of situation I think » she answered in a monotonous tone.

Buffy perched herself on a table which had been pushed against the wall beside the wall Willow was leant against.

« It's unfair » chained Willow. « This morning, life seemed so beautiful. Oh of course, I knew that there was something weird beneath. But she was there. You can't imagine how it was to feel her again near me, to inhale her smell, to hear the sound of her voice … I thought I was dreaming awakened. »

Willow kept silent and Buffy contented with watching her returning in these moments of short-lived happiness.

« And then with every step I made in these corridors » resumed the redhead. « Every meeting, every word, the dream was transformed bit by bit into nightmare. Tara friend with a dying Faith. Kennedy and her leg cut with an axe. All these potentials hurt. Rona, Vi, Robin. All killed. And you all. Your frantic looks. This despair which seems almost alive as much I feel it every time I breathe. »

Willow kept silent again. Buffy looked for her glance but her friend's eyes fixed an indefinite point to the wall on the other side of the room. The Slayer wanted to say something, anything who could bring a little comfort to the witch. But her brain seemed to refuse to succeed in collecting a coherent idea. And after a moment of silence, Willow turned finally to her.

« But you see, I would have been able to go on living that nightmare. Because her presence made it bearable. But that can't work like that. There're always choices to be made. Unfair choices. Her death made tilt the balance Buffy. »

Willow's voice trailed off slightly on these last words and Buffy wasn't able to refrain from attracting the witch towards her to bring her little comfort she could.

« And knowing that this is going to save the world doesn't make things a little easier ? » She asked friendly while Willow allowed herself to relax into her arms.

Buffy felt Willow shaking her head against her shoulder.

"No" she answered quite low. « No and maybe it should. I shouldn't even be there at the moment. But thinking that I'm going to be separated from her once again … »

Willow didn't finish and moved on to something else, still motionless against Buffy's body.

« Yesterday, I would have given anything for one more day with her. And now that this day had been given to me, I think it's just worse … »

Buffy put her two arms around her friend's shoulders and squeezed her against her, moved to tears by the despair she seemed to have exchanged with Willow.

« Will, is there anything or anybody who waits for you in this other world? »

« yeah, yeah » answered Willow after a time of hesitance during which she saw again the silhouette of "her" Kennedy. Strong, proud, passionate. « You wouldn't believe who » she added in a lighter tone.

Buffy raised Willow so that both girls were face to face again.

« Don't tell me Faith, Will » she said half serious.

Willow let escape a small laughter and wiped her tears with her hand.

« No, no. And now that I know that she and Tara would have been able to be so close, it's just even more unlikely! » She added with a grin.

« Jealous! » joked Buffy, happy to see a smile - as light as it was - returning on the face of her best friend.

Willow shrugged untidily, then turned to the main entrance while Tara crossed it at the same moment.

« I think it's time » she said, becoming dark again immediately.

Buffy nodded and jumped at the foot of her perch while Willow already went away to join Tara. Buffy rushed to hold her and caught her by the wrist.

« Will… »

The witch turned around and considered her with questioning eyes. Buffy's lips wrinkled in a hesitating smile and her mouth opened a first time without her saying nothing, before she finally broke simply:

« I just wanted you to know how much I'm sorry … »

Willow frowned, not sure to understand exactly what the Slayer was talking about.

« For failing » clarified Buffy. « For Warren. For Tara »

Willow looked at her silently, looking maybe for something to answer. Both friends so stayed some seconds silently considering each other. Finally, Willow smiled simply to Buffy before turning around again towards the center of the room.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The incantation hadn't lasted for a long time. Willow had already called D'Hoffryn and she repeated the words automatically as a lesson well learnt, sat in the middle of a circle drawn by Giles, her hand on her face. Around her, she could feel the tension of all her friends grew as she chanted the words.

When she finally had ended, Willow opened slowly her eyes and lowered her hand, which was masking her eyes. She wasn't able to prevent her heart from squeezing up when she saw the silhouette which was standing in front of her and who looked at her with an almost austere look on his face.

« Miss Rosenberg. Happy to see you again » said simply D'Hoffryn.

Willow sketched a discreet smile of welcome although at this moment, even more than previously, she found no reason, which could give her the urge to smile. While D'Hoffryn looked at her in prospect, Willow forced to remember the reason why she had called upon the boss of the vengeance demons.

"D' Hoffryn" she said simply, knowing what she then had to say but unable to formulate the words.

« Why did you ask me? » the demon pressed her, fixing her with an incisive glance.

Willow felt all the courage she had gathered up until that second faint with this simple question. She quivered and closed her eyes when she saw Giles in front of her, encouraging her with a small smile and a light sign of the chin. She forced herself to see again Faith dying in her bed, to see again Kennedy's damaged body, to see again the sickbay and all these potential hurt and frightened, she forced herself to look at the thinned, dirty and desperate faces which surrounded her. She forced herself to think about the First and its army who was getting ready, somewhere outside, hidden in the shadow, to give the deathblow.

While in another reality, Faith and Kennedy were the leaders of a new Slayers' generation, Giles the leader of a new council, Buffy and Dawn just two normal girls. But when her glance settled on Tara who tried to smile to her as the final hour was getting closer, the reality struck her hard: in this world, Tara had been murdered and Willow had become a murderer.

The witch thought she was going to faint at this idea but she felt a body behind her holding her and an arm surrounding her waist. Without even turning around, she knew that Tara had just slipped behind her to bring her her support.

« We think that this reality results from a wish of Willow » The redhead heard just behind her while Tara addressed the vengeance demon in a slightly trembling voice.

D'Hoffryn just nodded while looking at Tara with a slightly amused smile.

« Good guess from the girlfriend, » he admitted.

« Willow would like to take it back » the blonde witch resumed in a tone she wanted firmer but trailed off strikingly on the last word.

D'Hoffryn stared at them several seconds silently. Then without abandoning his phlegm, he declared simply:

« It is not what I believe. It is not what she is showing. »

« But it's what she wants »

Buffy had moved in her turn beside Willow and looked at the demon with all the determination her forces allowed her to show.

« Miss Summers! » Exclaimed D'Hoffryn in a clearly derisive tone this time « where did you put your sword? I thought you never move without it? »

Buffy frowned with contrariety but answered nothing.

« You were in finer form last time we met » ended D'Hoffryn crossing his arms in front of the Slayer.

« Last time we met, it wasn't a year we were fighting the First and that our friends were dying one after the other. That eventually gets someone down » Retorted Buffy in an acid tone.

« I guess so » declared D'Hoffryn having considered her curiously a moment.

Then he turned away from Buffy and his attention referred on Willow who seemed in the grip of a violent internal fight.

« Then, Miss Rosenberg, what do you want from me? »

Willow raised her eyes towards him. Eyes filled with dismay, with despair, with questions. She desperately seemed to look for a solution to escape the horror of this situation and didn't appear to be able to get the words out.

« Why? » She eventually asked abruptly, without the question seeming connected to nothing concrete.

But D'Hoffryn had apparently followed her train of thoughts and offered a compassionate smile.

« You were so sad. You looked like so desperate. » He answered. « Such a despair can't let a vengeance demon indifferent »

« Oh you, you're such the kings of compassion! » Threw Xander in an ironic and icy tone.

D'Hoffryn turned to the young man who couldn't refrain from looking at him with eyes mixed with contempt and anger.

« We are » answered D'Hoffryn simply, before turning to Willow without waiting more.

The witch looked now at the ground under her, looking maybe for the courage to formulate her request, while behind her, Tara surrounded her tenderly with her arms, still looking at the vengeance demon.

« I want to take my wish back »

Willow had whispered her sentence in a breath, without looking at D'Hoffryn. As soon as the words were spoken, she allowed herself to let go in the embrace of her girlfriend.

The master of the vengeance demons rolled his eyes before planting his glance of steel again on the hesitating silhouette of the redhead.

« And why do you think I can? »

« You can do it » asserted Giles resolutely while moving toward him in his turn.

This one didn't even grant him a glance and answered Willow who was still looking at her shoes.

« I was unclear : yes, I can. But why do you think I will? »

A deathly silence punctuated this question. Nobody seemed to have an answer. And finally, Willow livened up. The witch raised too brilliant eyes towards the vengeance demon and got free of Tara's arms to do a step.

« Look around you » she said, pointing her surroundings in a circular gesture. « Look at this world you created to my request. Who could be satisfied with this chaos? Not even you? »

D'Hoffryn didn't answer at once, then nodded slowly.

« You're right. This world doesn't satisfy at lot of people. Not even me. But you? And your girlfriend? »

Willow didn't answer and continued simply to look fixedly at the demon tightening her teeth as violently as she could.

« You know she has no choice to be satisfied with this world, don't you? 'Cause she doesn't have a place in the one you remember? And you, Miss Rosenberg, what do you think it will be like to be again without her? You should think about it »

Willow felt a hand squeezing gently her shoulder behind her and she didn't need to turn around to know that Tara had again got closer to give her support and her determination. Willow closed her eyes half a second and didn't turn around before declaring in a strong voice:

« I'm sure. I want to take my wish back »

Again, a heavy silence settled down in the room, each people seeming suspended to D'Hoffryn's lips. The vengeance demon was looking fixedly at Willow as to feel her determination. The redhead fixed him with the same intensity, decided to think only about all that her world had better to offer. After some moments which appeared to last an eternity, D'Hoffryn began pacing the room in front of Willow and made a pretence of thinking about it.

« Well, I have to admit that in this world, you are yourself sharply less funny than in the other one. Your sense of vengeance is a brilliant thing and I still have big hopes for you … »

« Leave Willow alone »

D'Hoffryn stopped a second to consider Tara and Xander who were looking at him with a challenging look. Look that didn't impress the demon in the least bit.

« I regret to tell you that she didn't need me to do things even my best vengeance demons wouldn't think about. She is brilliant. »

Willow felt Tara quivering behind her and a feeling of shame submerged her at D'Hoffryn's words. And she didn't find the courage to turn to Tara to offer her a reassuring gesture or smile reassuring she knew she was unable to do.

« Beside... » Went on D'Hoffryn, resuming his monologue where he had left it a moment earlier. « In a so chaotic world, the atmosphere isn't really good for vengeance. Which is regrettable. My vengeance demons are a little bored lately. And I am afraid that it won't improve … »

He stopped walking, again in front of Willow and placed his hand under his chin in sign of reflection. He allowed a new silence to pass then looked again at Willow straight in her eyes.

« I think it's better for all of us to take this wish back. » He said finally. « Well, almost all of us » he added, glancing at Tara.

Willow heard sighs of relief around her and forced herself to look at her friends one by one. Giles squeezed slightly Dawn against him while Xander and Buffy had at a gesture towards the redhead and attracted her in their arms. Only Spike - who had stayed back during all the scene - seemed not to show any reaction but Willow nevertheless thought she saw a light smile on his lips.

The redhead quickly got free from the hug of her two best friends to turn to Tara. This one hadn't moved from her previous place and offered Willow a shy smile which she gave her back, appreciating Tara's efforts to dominate her feelings and fight the tears which rose to her to eyes. The redhead attracted the blonde against her and seized her face between her hands. Her eyes dived into Tara's azure ones before she rained down kiss after kiss on her girlfriend's face. Tara was not able to contain her tears much longer and began crying softly.

Somewhere, as a vague background noise, D' Hoffryn's voice reached both witches' ears as the surrounding world had already stopped existing for them:

« Undo what was done »

Buffy, Xander, Giles, Dawn and even Spike closed their eyes, hand in hand, waiting simply that the nightmare fainted.

In the middle of wounded and dying potentials, Kennedy wanted to sleep, but the suffering caused by her dirty stub prevented her from getting sleep and made her moan with pain every time she turned around to find a more comfortable position.

Plunged into a dreamless sleep, a weaker than ever Faith, waited simply for death to come. A part of her would have liked somebody was with her when it would eventually happen.

At a window of the building, Chloe was looking in the distance in the direction of Molly, Vi, Rona and the others' graves. Without suspecting that she would soon return to take her place in the darkness.

Gripped to Tara as a shipwrecked person to what remains of a wreck adrift, a part of Willow hoped to return the blonde witch with her in her reality.

And inexorably, what could have been ended to be.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Kennedy pushed determinedly the door of the apartment she shared with Willow. Her hand looked one moment for the switch to the right of the door and she switched on the light. She threw untidily her jacket on the sofa and looked around her, looking for some sign indicating the presence of the witch. Her computer was still in the middle of the table of the foyer but it hadn't almost left this place for several days, so Kennedy didn't pay it particular attention. The young Slayer went to the kitchen which was plunged into darkness too and once the light switched on, she noticed that nothing had moved since her departure on the morning. Kennedy turned to the wall clock, hung over the table, and frowned. Already more than eight in the evening and Willow didn't seem to have come back from work.

Kennedy quickly crossed again the foyer up to their room. The room was also plunged into twilight and had stayed in the state in which she had left it while leaving on the morning.

« Will? » Called Kennedy, knowing pertinently that she wouldn't get any answer.

She did a new tour of the apartment in search of a note the witch would have left indicating that she would return late, something she was used to do. She found nothing. She went to the telephone, and pressed the button of the answering machine with hope, seeing flashing the button indicating the presence of a message. Dawn's hesitating voice, which rang some seconds later in the silent apartment, ruined her hopes.

« Hey, Will it's Dawn » said almost shyly the young Summers. « You must still be at work… I hope you didn't forget our Internet meeting for this evening. Eight or eight hours fifteen, as usual? »

There was a silence, only disrupted by the unusually strong breath of Dawn.

« And... we do think about you » the girl finished finally before hanging up.

A shrill bip indicated the end of the message and Kennedy remained stupid in front of the answering machine.

« What damn is this all about? » She asked the empty room while going to the table.

She settled down in front of the switched on computer and moved the mouse until seeing appearing the wallpaper : it was a photograph showing Willow, Xander and Buffy, younger, and more smiling than Kennedy could ever remember having seen them. She remained motionless a moment, contemplating this photo of Willow with longer hair, with more big, colored clothes, with a more frank smile, with a still so childish look on her face.

Finally, she got out of her reverie and sighed before connecting the webcam and launching the messaging software.

Dawn's face appeared almost immediately on the screen, a light but frank smile on her face. She had difficulty in hiding her disappointment by seeing Kennedy in front of her but continued to smile to her nevertheless.

« Oh, it's you. »

« Willow did not get back yet, » Kennedy informed her simply.

« Not yet? » Asked Dawn, evident surprise on her face. « But what time is it? More than eight ? »

Kennedy nodded and looked for something to say.

« You look tired, » commented on Dawn.

Kennedy confirmed with a new nod of her head.

« We're pretty busy lately. »

She put her hand in her hair and shrugged.

« And … »

« And ? » Interrogated Dawn at once.

« Weird day » said simply Kennedy

Dawn frowned.

« How's that, weird day? » Asked the young Summers in a slightly hysteric tone.

The confusion gained Kennedy. The anxiety in Dawn's tone was too evident not to be noticed.

« It's Willow. » Admitted Kennedy. « She was a little bit weird today. Vi and Rona think it's the pressure or the fatigue. But I think there's something else. »

Kennedy kept silent a second, playing her day in her head and didn't notice the unbelieving look on Dawn's face.

« I wanted to invite her this evening to have a break. You see, a restaurant, a movies. A nice and cool thing … »

« You invited Willow to the restaurant this evening? »

Kennedy's attention returned at once to the screen when she heard the young Summers' appalled tone.

« Yes. And she refused in a very strange way. » Winced Kennedy.

« You invited Willow at the restaurant today? » Repeated Dawn, in a stunned tone in which was pointing a light touch of anger.

« Yes. And yes again. What? There are days to invite your girlfriend to the restaurant? » Grumbled Kennedy that Dawn's behavior annoyed more than she already was.

« And you wonder why she said no? » Exclaimed Dawn brutally.

« Could you tell me what's happening? » The Slayer got excited. « What's the problem? »

« You don't know which day it is? »

This time, Dawn's tone had become softer and expressed surprise and certain sadness.

« Friday? » Offered Kennedy skeptically.

Dawn fixed the Slayer silently.

« Today, it's Tara's death anniversary » she spat finally in a bitter tone. « It's been two years » she quickly added, trying to contain the shiver in her voice.

This revelation left Kennedy dulled on her chair. She had the feeling that she had just been struck by lightning. The Slayer felt all her previous anger fainting as it was replaced by a big feeling of frustration.

« It's Tara's death anniversary? » She murmured quite low, evident shock and surprise on her face.

On the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, Dawn sank into her seat and crossed determinedly her arms.

« You did not know? » She asked with an austere look.

« Yes, yes, well, » faltered scantily Kennedy, looking around her, in search of a calendar or a clock.

Finally, her eyes fell again on the screen of the computer and Kennedy saw the date display below.

" May 7th " she murmured.

« How come you don't know? » A suddenly furious Dawn exclaimed .The emotion of the Slayer didn't seem to move her in the least bit.

« Will said nothing to me, » protested weakly Kennedy.

« Of course! » Retorted Dawn rolling her eyes. « What did you want her to tell you? Oh, honey, hard day, it is the anniversary of the death of the woman whom I should have spent my life with? »

Kennedy flinched slightly at these words and tried to take her attitude back. But Dawn didn't leave her the time and attacked again without waiting:

« You should know. » She asserted with force.

« Willow never talks about her death. She even never talks about her. How would I know? »

« You should know » Dawn persisted, wearing a stubborn look. « You could have inquired, asked questions. Didn't you suspect that there were days in the year, which would be harder than others on that matter? Like the anniversary of her death? Or her birthday? »

« I couldn't know » Kennedy moaned, lowering her head.

She just wished one thing at this moment : finding Willow, apologizing for her ignorance and hugging the redhead and promising that everything would be all right. Everything what? She had no idea, but she wished nothing else.

« Dawn? You're with Will? »

Buffy's voice made her raise her head and she saw the blonde Slayer entering the field of the webcam.

« Hey, Kennedy » she said smiling.

The Slayer felt in her homologue's voice the same point of disappointment Dawn had shown a little earlier when she hadn't seen the redhead appearing on the screen.

« Will did not get back yet » said Dawn to her sister. « And she … » The youngest Summers pointed to the screen and Kennedy who wore a miserable look. « She didn't even know. For Tara »

« Oh ! »

« I couldn't know » the young British woman defended herself immediately. « Willow never talks about her »

Kennedy saw Buffy offering a compassionate smile while she settled down on the place Dawn had just freed.

« I leave you alone » said the young Summers. « Call me if Willow arrives »

Buffy nodded and waved to her sister. Then she turned again to the screen.

« Don't pay attention to her » she said in a tone of excuse. « It's a rough day for her too. She's wound up. And she's worried about Willow. »

Kennedy nodded slowly.

« She was kinda weird today » she murmured. « I understand now »

« It's a hard day for her. » The blonde felt sorry. « She'll need you, even if she says otherwise. »

Kennedy answered nothing at first and glanced at Buffy's tired features, her brilliant eyes, her fingers which played nervously with the edge of the desk.

« And for you? » Asked finally the dark-haired Slayer. « It's not a rough day? »

Buffy shrugged untidily and her lips wrinkled in a light smile.

« Somebody has to be stronger to support the other one, no? »

Both Slayers looked at each other one moment silently, the same down look on their faces, the same hesitating and twisted smile on their lips. Finally, Kennedy was only able to nod slowly her head by way of answer.

---------------------------------------------------------

Willow had finally come back from her nightly escapade and had found back the road which would lead her to home, to Kennedy who - she knew it - should wait for her, worried and annoys.

But at the time of striking the button of her floor in the elevator of her building, Willow couldn't resolve herself to press on the good number.

She met herself on the roof of the building without even thinking about it. She sometimes came there in the evening, the rare times when she didn't accompany Kennedy in patrol or when her girlfriend was going out with Vi or Rona.

Willow perched on the edge of a low wall and leaned on the wall behind her, folding up her legs in front of her and imprisoning them into her arms. Then she pressed her chin on her knees and closed her eyes.

« So, Miss Rosenberg, regrets? »

Willow didn't jump when she heard D' Hoffryn's voice, which had just appeared from nowhere next to her.

The redhead thought again about her strange day. She saw again Tara's smile, felt her embrace, the sweetness of her skin against hers, smelt her smell filling her nostrils and wanted to get lost in these sweet memories.

« I often wondered what the world would look like if she hadn't been killed » answered slowly Willow. « Now I know. »

« And that's not really what I had imagined » she concluded.

« You seem to me as desperate as earlier » noticed D'Hoffryn. « Even more. »

Willow didn't answer, didn't even turn her head to the demon and contented with fixing a point of light in the distance.

« Why do I remember? » Asked abruptly Willow. « Giles said that I wouldn't remember? »

D'Hoffryn couldn't refrain from smiling.

« You should have asked this to me. I have some kind of affection for you Miss Rosenberg, let's say that it's a small special treatment … »

« I could make you the best vengeance demon of all times. You could have a new wish » resumed the demon.

"No" answered firmly Willow, still without moving. « It's still no »

D'Hoffryn considered her one moment silently, seeming to wait she eventually changed her mind. Finally, he sighed and resumed:

« You're indeed as stubborn as Anyanka said you were. I am thus going to leave you. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me »

Willow didn't watch him disappearing. Alone again, she knocked her head down behind, and allowed tears to pour on her face, while all her body tried to remember the feeling of Tara kissing her, not so long ago.

Some floors below her, Kennedy was turning like a lion in cage, trying in vain to silence her fear, thousands of ideas playing in her tortured mind.

While over the redhead's head, the ' big pineapple ' seemed to shine with all its fires, indifferent to her internal turmoil.

_The end._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Hope you enjoyed this and if you have comments, good or bad, I will be happy to read them! _


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